For a couple that is going through problems in their marriage, the holidays can exacerbate these issues. If your response to the holidays includes frustration and stress, it can be easy to scapegoat your spouse or children. Speaking to your peers about problems can be helpful at times, but it can be very easy and very damaging to gripe about your spouse to your children.
A seemingly easy fix would be to get children everything on their Christmas list to distract them or to soothe your guilt about the impending chaos that could result from a divorce. The thought being, if the kids have a happy Christmas, that will keep them out of the problems. However, this can unwittingly create more or different problems.
Here are 5 tips for protecting your children during the holidays.
- Do not discuss problems in the marriage with your children.
- If there are financial issues that could impact Christmas, find a creative way to lower their expectations of gifts and festivities for the holiday.
- As a couple, call a truce over the holidays.
- When the kids are around, don’t make snide remarks or fight with each other.
- If issues must be discussed, do it in private or seek professional assistance.
There is always the possibility that problems will pass. The holidays could help to remind everyone about what’s really important. However, it is also likely that poorly managed holidays will cause more strain in the already cracked foundation of your marriage than relieve it.
If you feel you may be moving toward a divorce, it may be beneficial to talk to MaryAnn Kildebeck. If there are major problems, or even minor annoyances, MaryAnn will work with you to find solutions. To set up an appointment today, call (972) 377-6400.